My name is Lessette Shei and for over 10 years I’ve worked in the fashion industry as an Ecommerce Stylist, creating content that sells products while observing the complicated relationship women have with self-image, confidence and self-esteem. Speaking to numerous female models, photographers, makeup artists, assistants or women in my personal life, I’ve noticed that black women don't fully understand the concept of self love enough, to act on practical steps to combat identity loss, shame and low self esteem.
Growing up as a Black gurl in East London, performing womanhood was something I knew intimately. I had to navigate stereotypes, traumatised and emotionally absent individuals while experiencing an unhealthy relationship with myself. My stubbornness helped me more than it hindered me, pushing me into a successful career, but underneath it all I was still struggling with self-worth.
In my mid 30s, I was diagnosed with fibroids and PCOS. Months of painful symptoms, paired with what felt like very little support, became the catalyst for a deeper journey into self-discovery and self-love. I began questioning everything I believed, and what followed was a process of deconstructing the version of myself I had been performing. Then rebuilding something more authentic, using tools that did not rely on religious or spiritual ideology.
I’m still the outspoken girl who boosts the self-esteem of the women around me, but now I do it with a clearer understanding of why black women struggle and what actually helps. The framework in this book is built from both lived experience and years of observing the common patterns that black women repeat.